Cursed or Blessed

My dad was always busy. He had to run his business, he had to make money like every fathers do in those time, he never had a time for his children.

Now I'm thinking, perhaps he didn't know how to spend time with his kids.
Children's need was taken care of mom's resources and her limit. She had to gather up her courage and gut, even she wasn't confident to stand still in front of others. Her lack of academic education was constantly bringing her down and down.

General people were hostile. They constantly judged from appearances. They compared themselves with others all the time. If they caught an outsider whom don't see like them, don't talk like them, don't dress up like them, without any remorse they chewed her/him up. They looked like simply they just couldn't handle the differences in people.

They gathered up, but only for the gossip. They only pretended to be nice, only when my dad's business was going well.

I'm really sick of those fake people. I started to hate them since I was little. Their hypocrisy made me lose my appetite. How do I all know this? Because they said everything, showed everything in my child's ears and eyes. They didn't consider a child is capable to process their doing. They often said, "You're too young. What do you know anyway?"

In general, I'm very disappointed at older generations. Their snob face, grease flowing down on their wrinkle, faded focal point, still believes their time was way better than ours. They only talk about their ol' good times, still avoid to admit their social responsibilities. Is it because they are too old now? I don't know.

Having these clear memories from the past drives me crazy. I wish I can let it go, but somehow it returns back. What should I do?


All I do is just write.