Morning hassle

This is my fantasy. The reality is far, far from it!

6:30 a.m. Hateful alarm rings. Mama shut it down before it wakes up everyone. Her footstep is heavy as if dragging shackles around her ankle. Her eyes are still closed. She walks like a zombie.

Mama is tired. Mama wants to sleep five more minutes. No, she can't.
She needs to get up, take shower, pack her daughter's lunch, and get ready for breakfast.

Her consciousness comes back after few minutes of hot shower.
Hurry, hurry, quick! Her mind is busy, her body is slow. Done shower, got dressed, her hair is still damp. 

Fast, fast, time runs out! She boils water for Oatmeal, slices strawberries on the side, packs creamy chicken pasta for lunch. She doesn't forget to write a note in the lunchbox: "Ma Chérie, mommy loves you so much!"

7:00 a.m. Wake up, sweetie pie. Mama calls her daughter softly.
7:05 a.m. Wake up, wake up, honey. Mama adds more strength on her voice.
7:10 a.m  Come on, baby. You don't want to be late! Let's hurry up! Mama's voice gets louder. Her daughter still wiggles under the blanket. She rolls out like a snail, she stands on her feet.     
7:15 a.m. A sleepy head walks slowly to the bathroom.
7:20 a.m She puts on her clothes and socks. She eats warm oatmeal breakfast so s..l..o..o..o..w.
You can't take all your time. You need to hurry up, Mama rushes and pressure up the speed. We need to leave in ten minutes.

They managed to get out of the house by 7:40. Mama should have expected highway traffic. "It's not good, it's not good at all", she murmurs, "slow like a turtle, three miles takes 25 minutes."
Her daughter gets in the school on time. She is happy to see her new friends. Still shy, still hesitant to say, "can I play with you?", but she is content to be in the kindergarten.

Hew...Mama sighs deeply. Back in the car, sitting alone, taking deep breath, mama stares out of the windshield. Grey sky, covered with dark clouds, yet she tries to find where the bright sun hidden.

Kid's drama begins Mom's drama

--Sun Hee Yoon

Oh, no, I hate drama.
I do not want any drama.
Please, can I be spared from it? I guess not.

A mom from my daughter's class came over me,
She said my daughter stuck her tongue out,
when the teacher was not looking.
She heard it from her daughter.
Either it is true or not, she came up to me and spoke.

How do I feel about that?
Annoyed! Aggravated to death!

What is your intention, woman?
What do you want?
Are you trying to label my daughter as a mischievous?
Oh, right, I heard you yelled out loud to everyone
My girl is a bully, when I was not around.

What's your purpose?
Does your daughter behave so well?
Is that why you come up to teach me a lesson?
You think I am not doing my job properly? Is this why?

I do my best to raise my child here,
So do you. We are in a same boat, woman.
Don't flip your finger to other mom just because of your daughter's tattletale.
I respect you as much as I want to be respected.
So why don't you drop that drama?

"Make Them Be Good!" - Tough Chicks

Did I ever mention that I love to go to the library? I do, I really do love going to the library. It's almost like I'm scheduled to a blind date. (Shhh.. my husband would not like this name calling.)

Few days ago, I checked out nearly twenty books from my library, Lincoln-Belmont. Tonight my little girl and I read a book, Tough Chicks by Cece Meng.

From the moment Penny, Polly, and Molly hatch from their eggs , the whole farm knows they are truly tough chicks. They wrestle worms, rope roosters and are often found under the hood of the tractor. All the other animals, and even the farmer himself, tell Mama Hen to make her chicks good. "They are good!" Mama Hen always replies. But could her chicks be too loud, too independent, and too tough?         

--An excerpt from Tough Chicks

It has adorable illustrations. These cute chicks kept making me laugh. My daughter kept pointing out the colorful images and funny face expressions. The message of this book was very clear to me from the beginning.

"Make them be good!", "make them be good!" call the animals. "They are good!" Mama Hen clucked. But sometimes even she worried. When I read this page, I had to pause a little and wondered if this story was about me. It made me think. It was very similar portrait of what I have been dealing with.

My daughter came up with lots of WHY questions. I tried my best to answer, but there were things I just couldn't explain why Mama Hen was worried so much. I'm worried a lot just like Mama Hen. I know my girl is good, but people keep saying "make her be good!" Whenever I'm stressed out, it's hard to communicate with others. Tough Chicks, however, demonstrated it precisely with a sense of humor and the playful illustrations. I understand why it was taped "best of best" by our local librarian. She knows good books!

Mom's night out

With my friend, Stefanie (on the left) and Monica (in the middle)

Margaritas order up,
Sip by sip, I taste the exotic cocktails with rapture. 
Strong taste of Tequila releases my tension.

Mamas,
Without kids we are free soul.
Bit by bit, I savor the creamy spinach Enchilada.
I let go of my inhibition.

Quiet voices get louder and louder,
That's ok, nobody pays attention anyway,
Feel free, drink some more.

Laughter, loud hearty laughter,
I talk loud and louder without hesitation,
No kid's watching us; I want to be a kid this time.

Having fun, I have forgotten its sensation.
I love talking, laughing, drinking, and sharing stories,
Moms get closer.
Our intimate stories, - everyone has a story to tell,-
Make our night shine. 

Mom's monologue; perhaps praise is all we need.

Somehow, somewhere we need to feel the appreciation of what we do. I'm 100% sure of this.
Receiving random compliment from my daughter's school parents such as "wow, you've done good job raising your girl!" or "You should be proud of yourself raising a child in a foreign land like this. She's brilliant," made me almost crying out burst. I had to hold up myself not to have teary eyes. I really felt like crying though. Those words penetrated my heart, somehow I can't explain how it happened.

All moms do our best to raise her own children. Working mom, home-staying-mom, single mom, even a mom who doesn't speak English in USA, they do whatever to meet her children's need. We love our children and we wish for them to be happy in their lives. We buy good food as much as we can, we spend dollars after dollars to make our kids to look decent. We want our children to be distinguished themselves in some area so that they can grow richer and happier in their lives, not necessary wealthier but RICHER.

Mom's wish is very simple. If one's wish is extravagant, that's her choice. But I believe most of moms want their kids to be content and be themselves. And that's what I wish for my daughter, too. I don't want to push around to do things that she doesn't like. I don't want to sit by and be nonchalant while she wants to play with me. Sometimes it's very hard to draw a line what's right choice for her and what's not. It's the constant rearranging our agenda, and being flexible and being able to read my child's mind is extremely crucial. But the truth being; it's painful, agonizing, clueless and literally losing our mind.

Mom's antenna has to be 24/7 ON all the time. It's exhausting. It's energy consuming. It's nothing like professional work. Maybe that is why mom's reward is PRICELESS - so unique and special.
   My child looks at my eyes, and says "Mom, whenever I behave well, I get your smile. So I will behave better tomorrow and the next day, and the next day! Your smile is my best reward."

As a young mom, I still have tons of doubts and questions if I make the right choice for my child. I don't think I'll ever be sure. Raising one person with unconditional love is nothing like anything else. There is no manual guideline. Maybe there shouldn't be any guideline. Listening to our children's heart and encouraging them with full support without any doubt will be likely what is supposed to be. I'm saying it, I'm writing it, but I don't know if I can practice without fail. Well, I will fail from time to time,- as what life is all about - but I'm not going to fail loving my child.