Damaged, hurt and now what?

Polluted mind, damaged soul, crooked spirit, blinded eyes,
what are you going to do?

What are you doing here at this time?
Why! why are you doing this?

Waking up at 3:30 a.m? Are you nuts?
Wait a second, is there something bothering you? something blocking you from sound sleep?

Yes, I'm greatly disappointed.
My disappointment was somewhat forecast-ed, and I tried to ignore purposefully.

My optimistic view has cracked badly, and maybe it is what it is supposed to be. Or is it, really?
Hold on a minute! Am I stained? Holy crap! I shouldn't let it get to me. I just can't let it happen.

*   *   *

Often I realize it's impossible to keep my head up. There are so many opposite forces around me, and they push me down constantly. They know everything, all they say is I know this, I know that, of course I know this and that. Their easy assumption and prejudice makes me sick. 
I really want to shout at them, do you really UNDERSTAND what you know? If you know so well, and if you understand its meaning behind, then explain to me-
Why are you acting such a bitch? Why do you choose to be such an asshole? Why do you have to push others down so that you can stand out a little higher? Does this action make you feel better? Do you gain confidence if you crush down and trample on others? Oh, so great your self-esteem! Oh, I adore your narcissistic point of you! Oh, you are the best! Oh, what else do you wanna hear? Now, are you happy? 

I get tired of listening same old meaningless your echos. You speak, you write, you talk, and you talk a lot, it doesn't mean you know a thing! Stop talking, and stop judging and try to understand please! You don't even give an effort to try, then you'd better shut up. Don't make yourself unworthy. The more you try to push others down, the more bitter person you will be. So please stop hurting yourself by acting something terribly stupid. 

Look at yourself into a mirror, and face it. You are not perfect, nor am I. We are in a same boat, believe it or not. You just need to see it differently, and one day your will realize we were connected from the beginning.

The sound of Fall

Crunch, crunch, stepping on the pile of dried fallen leaves on the sidewalk.

A toddler walking by, and she couldn't miss the gift of nature.

Crunching softly, hopping, stomping, listening to the sound of fall.

And I wonder why do we forget the joy of simple things as we grow up?

Staring this one fallen leaf on my patio table, and ask softly - how was your life? Did you have good life with beautiful memories? Is there anything you regret? I hope you don't. 
You look so beautiful, and peaceful. Now, you make me realize our life is also like yours. 
One day, I'll depart from this life, I hope I also lay myself gracefully like you.

Untitled

   Looking for some kind of mind-blowing stuff, or mind-refreshing stuff.
   Being thirsty or dying to understand of the culture, language, child's mind, life and words.

   Restless mind, not able to shut down,
   I don't want to be entertained by simple life drama.
   I'm longing for the dramatic real life story.

   Who doesn't like Drama? No one can't resist on this.

   Trying to understand why I can't stop thinking of the stories,
   What's the purpose of me sitting in the dark in the midnight, perhaps to write?
  
   Am I really able to write my own stories?
   Will I be able to make it good?
   What about distractions? What should I do with them?
   Somehow I know the answer, but it's hard to practice it.
  
   Ignore them, Sun Hee. Show them who you really are.
   You can do it, you can do it, you did it once, why not again?
   Don't think of negativity, life is still beautiful, embrace them and try to transform it in your way.
   You are able to do this! And you will! Yes, you will!