Addiction on words

   "Uncertainty and mystery are energies of life.
     Don’t let them scare you unduly, for they keep boredom at bay and spark creativity."    
                                                                                                                   --R.I. Fitzhenry




   Whenever I face the difficult time of my life, I try to remember what the greatest people have said or have done. These quote searching has been with me early year of my life. I needed them desperately. I heard lots of people's saying around me, but their words and action didn't match through my child eyes. I had to ask myself what was the real in them. Then later I questioned what was the real value of the words.


   Words can ruin a people's life, on the other hand words can save a person's life. Words are so commonly used between people, we are not much aware of how much the real value they have. I don't know if anybody asked these questions frequently, if so why are we still using hurtful words everywhere?


   In my case, I have been drilled by Korean proverbs since I was a kid.  They taught us word could pay the life debt if you would use the right words in a right place. Or, words coming out from your mouth can be heard anyplace, to anyone. I have to render them in Korean, because I can't translate before they are clear to me. 
   "가는 말이 고와야 오는 말이 곱다.", " 말 한마디로 천냥빚 갚는다.", "낮 말은 새가 듣고, 밤 말은 쥐가 듣는다." 


   I'm teaching my soon to be 4-year-old daughter to use the nice words to others. But sometimes I feel like I need to use nice words before her. I thought I was a good model for her, but I haven't arrived a natural stage yet. Everything seemed to be experienced, drilled and practiced even using nice words. What's simple in this life? Nothing. 
   Whenever I see babies, eating, sleeping, pooping and crying is all what they do, and their life looks so simple. They have simple life in an adult point of view, but all the babies don't have other ways to express their basic needs. They are growing, they are surviving, they are adapting to this harsh world. Yet, they have innocence in them naturally. They don't know how to conceal their feelings yet. I think this is jewel. The innocence in human being - before we set up our persona, even before we know our name- was living with us from the beginning.  


   I'm just trying to find the answers that I couldn't find yet. This endless searching would not likely to settle down. The bottom line of all of these- I don't know what I am doing for, and these attempts drive me nuts already - but I know I like to keep doing.