There was a time that I was hoping if I'm out of this small home town, I would be extremely happy. That was 7 years ago already. It was tough time and I couldn't see bright future ahead of me. Everything was blocked that I barely could breathe.
Now, it's been 7 years since then and I am out of my little hometown , it seems to me I have everything that I wished for. I guess I ought to be grateful on everything occurs to me right now but the fact is I'm not always happy.
Recently I was wondering about what is happiness? Why can't I be happy all the time?
When I become happy finally then sooner or later the feeling is gone. Why doesn't it last long?Am I too fickle? or Don't I know how to be appreciated??
Once those made me happy, it doesn't work same way anymore.
Why being happy is so complicated?
Are we supposed to live to struggle to find happiness all our life time??
The bottom line of my feeling is when I'm not happy or when I'm not fulfilled of myself, I am lost. When I feel lost, I lost my control of my conscious and I feel like I'm day dreaming most of time.
Someone told me that happiness comes from within. I agree with that.