Tuesday, March 29, 2011

A girl's dream

There was a girl who hated her life.
She hated everything, everyone.
Nobody cared about her, no one told her she could do something great. 
She thought she was born in wrong place.
Everything surrounding her was misery, fake, greed and jealousy.
She wondered, why don't they just live with smile, and ...just being happy?? 
Why being happy and feeling satisfied should be so complicated? Are we born to be grumpy and suffering in bitterness all our lives??  
A girl questioned and questioned.
She couldn't speak out, no children ask these questions to adults. Even if she asked, they would probably said, "shut up, and go in your room and study!" 

She dreamed an utopia. She created her own world with imagination. 

As she grew up, she pretended she was listening to the society. Or else, she would be struck by teacher, classmates, and the system of education. They all hated someone who spoke up. The truth is I had no confidence to stand alone. I wanted to blend in. I didn't want to be alone.

Being alone is pretty scary. We, humans are born to be together. But I couldn't find people I wanted to be together. 
Family was shaking. Father, Mother were unhappy people. Uncles, aunts were struggling to survive. It seemed everyone in the world was living in sadness and misery. I haven't seen them smile brightly. Maybe smiling was forbidden. Maybe smiling was attracting other's jealousy. Happy people were supposed to live somewhere else. Maybe that was the logic to them. I don't know. I really want to know but I don't think they would tell me. 
PEOPLE ARE SUPPOSED TO HIDE THEIR JOY, SMILE, AND HAPPINESS.  I wish someone tells me that this idea is wrong. 

Tonight, I found something striking. I have learned that my words can make people intrigued. Group of writers gave me positive feedback that I need to tell more stories.

Write, write, write, Sun Hee! Tell us more stories! I want to know more about Korean culture, economic collapse, your father, your high school, your dream. What makes you follow your dream? Be more specific! Give us more details! 

나의 이름은 윤선희입니다. 이제부터 제 이야기를 시작하겠습니다. 
My name is Yoon, Sun Hee. I'm about to tell you my stories. 

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