Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Mom's diary - my new identity
I got one hour to write this, which I'm not sure how it will turn out. There has been a strong idea in my head swirling and twirling, but every time I was about to write, life kicks in and I ended up being drifted away from the creative mood.
It's been three weeks that my 4-year-old daughter, Sou Lynn started going her preschool. It surely had impacted on our whole life. No need to mention about the private meeting with her room teacher within a week, I've found there's something I have to accept regardless, which is being called "SouLynn's mom".
When I drop her off to school, the friendly faces hi to me and calling me, "Hi, SouLynn's mom! How are you today?" When I pick her up from school, the new friend mom asks me, "SouLynn's mom, are you gonna go in the playground?"
Now, I'm known as SouLynn's mom everywhere. Yes, I AM SouLynn's mom, but I also have a name. Silly me, who cares? It's my random ranting that no one really cares. Having few minutes of monolog and whistling through my nose, I tilted my head the other side and thinking about my mom.
As long as I remember, my mom was called SunHee's mom all her life. Even at this point, I became someone else's wife and someone else's mom, my mom is still being called SunHee's mom. And my mom loved this title. One time I wondered if she would prefer to be called by her own name. And she told me, "I don't mind. I belong to you as much as you belong to me."
My mom was always content looking at me and my brother. As if we were some sort of trophies of her own, she gazed on us long time with the happiest smile. My mom never spoke up loudly how much she loved us or care for us, but she showed us her unconditional love through her smile. And, we felt it. I always knew I have the best mom in the world, although I realized it deeply later on.
Being called SouLynn's mom doesn't sound so bad anymore. That's the constant reminder how much my role is crucial for my child. I belong to her as much as she belongs to me.