Wednesday, December 22, 2010

My story - People

I have the greatest teacher in my life, which is "Life" itself.
My life taught me so many things that I wouldn't imagine. 
It brought me so many surprises that I didn't appreciate for the moment but later on, made me realize how grateful I was.
It gave me hard time, truly hard ones that I still can't understand what on earth I deserved them. 
However, the more I'm willing to learn from it, I can understand why.

Life knew, I swear it knew that I loved people.
I can't live without people.
But for a long time, it took them away from me.

'Have you been all alone in the middle of nowhere? 
 Have you stood alone with newborn baby with no familiar faces around? 
 Have you felt how it was heartbreaking when you need someone desperately, no one's answering?'

You could literally beg for a person, any person's kind word.
Just like, "Oh, Sun Hee. How are you doing? It must be hard. I wish I could help you anything." they didn't need to say the last sentence.
I would be glad if they smiled at me. That would suffice.
Just a little smile, which would prove that I was a person who had full of feelings.
I wanted people see me as a person who had full of sadness that I needed to talk to so I could make them away. I didn't need people who could empathize me. I just wanted their smile.
A nice smile.. that was all I asked for.

But I couldn't find it anywhere. 
Partially because I was scared to go out, as a result I couldn't meet anybody.
I was scared to bring my baby into the insecure world. That was mother's instinct. 
This world isn't safe to raise a child.
I'm extremely sad to say this sentence, because it's true.

This world is full of angry people.
They are frustrated.
They want to fight.
They need to vent on everybody on everything.
They don't even know how much they are blinded.
They don't want to see as themselves.
They refuse to see their true face.
It's true that we need courage to reveal the truth. 

However, I'm still standing on truth. I have to.
I have to stand on true side of our human nature.
We-humans- are capable to be good.
We are born to be nice to each other, not to hurt.
It's in our gene, it's carved in our survival code.
In order to survive, we need to be kind.
We have to get together, share and smile.

We are capable of all these, because we are our ancestors' descendants. 
They survived the unbearable nature's condition,
by helping each other,
by gathering next to warm fire,
by telling stories which they'd heard from their mothers,
and these stories were passed down to next generations and generations. 

Stories made them stand strong.
Stories made them believe where the god is.
Stories told us why Prometheus had to suffer to protect humans.

If I were Prometheus, I would be so sad or mad by now,
by how ugly we are now.
But somehow I have feeling that he wouldn't be so disappointed.
Because he believed in us so strong that we can do great things.
I'd like to believe later one.

People, they are my love.
I love them as much I hate them.
I understand them as much I can't understand them.
They hurt me as much they love me back.
I guess that's who we are.
We are insecure, but guess what?
When we get together strongly, when we become friends not enemy,
then we'll be stronger than ever. 

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