Saturday, October 8, 2011
How should I describe my feelings?
It's not so easy to pull out into words of what I feel.
I talk about what I know, but it's never easy to say what makes my heart thump.
In the BookCellar at Lincoln Square,
sitting on the corner of the place, setting up with my small Netbook and Café Mocha on my right,
listening Mariah Carry's A Hero Lies In You through iPod,
and gazing my passionate artist who's totally into his world.
We are sitting on a same table, sharing same moments,
but he and I are creating different world.
His well-sharpened pencils skating on a piece of sketch book,
his delicate hands busy to form the shapes of creatures,
his clamped mouth, his sparkling eyes, even reflections on his glasses-
are the sign of the passion.
I never understood, or I never tried to understand what the passion is.
What made him to stick to draw his self-portrait over three years without skipping a single day?
What made him to throw himself into traditional art education although his profession is digital graphic?
I was angry whenever he chose to go drawing classes on Sunday morning instead of staying and spending time with me. I was deserted and felt lonely whenever he chose to improve himself and build his art level to a strong professional foundation. His work and I became the enemy, because he always chose to spend time with it. But now I see it differently. I can confess all these because now I know better, I came to realize and understand better of his will and passion.
Being a couple seemed easy at the beginning, but working together to establish healthy and happy family needed a great deal of sacrifice and understanding.
I was unaware of these, I didn't know what to do. As a result, it came to close to a disaster. By meaning Disaster might not be enough to explain what I had to go through. But I'm glad the worst time is over now.
Now, I talk to him differently. I understand him differently. I support him with full strength, instead of half sincerity and half disguise. Whenever something bothers me, I tell him with honesty. We trust each other and that's what the couple's about. We love each other as who we are.