Mom's monologue; perhaps praise is all we need.

Somehow, somewhere we need to feel the appreciation of what we do. I'm 100% sure of this.
Receiving random compliment from my daughter's school parents such as "wow, you've done good job raising your girl!" or "You should be proud of yourself raising a child in a foreign land like this. She's brilliant," made me almost crying out burst. I had to hold up myself not to have teary eyes. I really felt like crying though. Those words penetrated my heart, somehow I can't explain how it happened.

All moms do our best to raise her own children. Working mom, home-staying-mom, single mom, even a mom who doesn't speak English in USA, they do whatever to meet her children's need. We love our children and we wish for them to be happy in their lives. We buy good food as much as we can, we spend dollars after dollars to make our kids to look decent. We want our children to be distinguished themselves in some area so that they can grow richer and happier in their lives, not necessary wealthier but RICHER.

Mom's wish is very simple. If one's wish is extravagant, that's her choice. But I believe most of moms want their kids to be content and be themselves. And that's what I wish for my daughter, too. I don't want to push around to do things that she doesn't like. I don't want to sit by and be nonchalant while she wants to play with me. Sometimes it's very hard to draw a line what's right choice for her and what's not. It's the constant rearranging our agenda, and being flexible and being able to read my child's mind is extremely crucial. But the truth being; it's painful, agonizing, clueless and literally losing our mind.

Mom's antenna has to be 24/7 ON all the time. It's exhausting. It's energy consuming. It's nothing like professional work. Maybe that is why mom's reward is PRICELESS - so unique and special.
   My child looks at my eyes, and says "Mom, whenever I behave well, I get your smile. So I will behave better tomorrow and the next day, and the next day! Your smile is my best reward."

As a young mom, I still have tons of doubts and questions if I make the right choice for my child. I don't think I'll ever be sure. Raising one person with unconditional love is nothing like anything else. There is no manual guideline. Maybe there shouldn't be any guideline. Listening to our children's heart and encouraging them with full support without any doubt will be likely what is supposed to be. I'm saying it, I'm writing it, but I don't know if I can practice without fail. Well, I will fail from time to time,- as what life is all about - but I'm not going to fail loving my child.