Saturday, May 26, 2012

Telescope and Microscope

   My mom used to lecture me the difficult life lessons in a very easy way to understand. I loved how she describe and compare things with simple objects. As I get older, these messages echo in my ears strongly than ever.

   "Sun Hee, in your life, you need to have a telescope and a microscope. If you only have a telescope, you might run after where you want to go or what you want to achieve, but you will miss small but precious things under your feet. And if you only have a microscope, you might focus on things happening right next to you but you won't be able to find where you need to go in a long run. You need to keep these two tools and use them well in the right time."

   I didn't understand fully at that point, but I thought it was very cool idea, imagining myself as an explorer and have two key equipments in my both hands. As a teenager, being ambitious and adventurous, surely needed to take a note from my mom. Since then I started to carry an imaginary telescope and a microscope in my head.

   Surely soon enough, I got to taste the true flavor of reality. High school dramas including non-stop academic exams, the unsatisfying test score, endless effort to keep up in the survival competition against my fellow friends, and being left all alone.

   In my early teenage years, I earned the important life lesson which was "life is lonely journey." No matter how hard you try to find a true friend, the real friend is, in fact, yourself. Being social and outgoing person I was, but I had to learn how to NOT to depend on friends when it comes to a major life decision. Friends are wonderful. Please don't misunderstand me. I'm longing to have friends all the time, because I believe true friendship make our lives richer and joyful. That is certain thing. However, I've found the more I depend on friends, the more I expect from them and in return I got often crushed by disappointment. And there flowed the unspoken resentment and dissatisfaction between friendship, and it never became same as it was at the beginning.

   Wanting to be someone special to someone is very basic human instinct, I believe. We are lonely no matter what we do, no matter where we are. Perhaps that's why we are hungry to get together all the time. We need to be asked how we've been doing, we need to be watched, we need to be touched, and we need to be heard our voices somewhere, somehow.

   With my telescope and microscope, I'm starting to enjoy my solitude. I have learned hard way to switch these two instruments, and I'm getting comfortable with it now. I always knew my mom knows what she's talking about. Her voices and wisdom have become my very core comfort throughout my lonely journey.

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