My Big Artist

Art is not what you see, but what you make others see. -- Degas

My husband is an artist. He loves his career and I like he pursues his dream without losing the passion. Technically he is an employee of the biggest entertainment enterprise in U.S. He creates and supervises the game characters in the most brutal fighting game, which is famous for its "brutality". When this game was released last year and scored a huge success, I wrote something intimate as a personal essay.

My husband's creation, Sub-Zero

Compassion, understanding and patience were not my type. I was more like greedy, tricky, impatient person. I never had a desire to be a good person, nor a bad one. Since I married, however, I wanted to be a good wife, a kind of loving and caring wife in a folktale. The realistic problem was I didn't know how to be one. So, I had to learn from the beginning.

Supporting what my husband does for a living has familial complications. It requires a lot of time from him to accomplish his project. He stays late at work sometimes to meet the deadline. When he gets overly stressed, depressed, or demotivated, his emotional strings land on a family. He's not perfect, nor am I. Then we repeat same quarrels and our hurtful words. Anger, resentment, argument and the regret. I needed to learn to be happy together from zero. 

His pencil drawing at Vitruvian Fine Art School

Sometimes I question about the idea of marriage. Why loving each other isn't enough? What's the "right way" to love each other? What's the secret method in the marriage? Marriage is the result of falling in love from one to another, but after few years the initial love form slowly changes. Maintaining healthy marriage is not so easy as it seems, but I still try to make it one. Last year I had an epiphany of my marriage. I realized I had been so stubborn and I almost tried to change my husband to a stereotype married man, ignoring his unique qualities. I was ashamed of myself.

Now I respect a lot more of his art work. We discuss more about his ideas and concepts of drawings. I encourage him to attend illustration and art related conventions. He comes home with full of inspirations and motivations. He is happy then I am happy too.